It Depends
» Fetish Meme
This could preface almost everything posted here: it depends.
Relationships that include BDSM exist in manifold forms:
- Bedroom Play Only
- Highly Romantic BDSM
- Just Scenes (with friends or strangers only)
- Intimate or seemingly impersonal
- D/s as a light overall tenor of a relationship
- Very selective dominance and submission depending on context
- Some but not all are active in one or more public BDSM communities
- Online Only
- Professional Domination
- Strictly Service
- S&M without D/s
- Lifestyle Power Exchange
- 24/7 TPE
They may or may not include:
- Punishment
- Humiliation
- Heavy Pain
- Ceremonial Collars
- Role-playing
- Sharing (Being Shared)
And who knows whatever else.
There’s no way for me to explicitly acknowledge the diversity there is in what it is that we do. But I do perceive it. That some of the questions posed here may at times reflect bias or prejudice is a given. I try to be careful.
Oh, and you are welcome to use this as a space to share what it is that you like to do or wish you were doing.
Comments
The variability is challenging. I want people to understand me, so when I post to my blog, I have to spend a lot of time talking about what we do and don’t do, how we do and don’t view it, etc.
And then there are things like, when I say, “We don’t do humiliation. I’m not into that,” I don’t want other people to feel insulted or like I think their desires are sick. (As I posted lately, if I didn’t kink for pain, I wouldn’t like it either. Duh.)
You find yourself saying things like, “I hate humiliation. I’d never want my slave to feel shame,” and it’s like you’re implying that other people play with humiliation because they hate and want to harm each other.
And then some practices really do feel objectionable, and it’s hard to know what to make of it. Am I prejudiced? Simply mistaken in how I view things? Or are there lines that people really do cross and I’m right to think so?
It certainly allows a giant and delicious variety in blogs, though.
Posted by: Dev | February 11, 2008 2:57 PM
I’ve had a few people accuse me of priggishness because of some of my preferences. They can’t see that differing in opinion isn’t the same thing as condemning.
Posted by: Richard | February 11, 2008 3:08 PM