Fetish Checklists
» Power Exchange
Fetish checklists are an old idea. You list commonplace kinky activities and note if you like or dislike it and to what degree. (I have a longish one.)
But I wonder how many people have created a BDSM checklist and of those how many have used it. Have you?
What is the best design for such a list?
- Broad generalities
- Fairly specific
- Detailed and nuanced
Do you think fetish checklists should be a part of getting to know or negotiating with a potential new play partner?
As a top do you feel it infringes on your rights or creativity? Or is a tool for discovering how to get what you want from a bottom? Do you present one of your own?
As a top are you squeamish about being specific? Does it seem pushy or a quick way of spotting significant incompatibilities?
Are there any suggestions you’d make to someone trying to write such a list?
Comments
I actually agree with check lists, it is like safe words, or safety calls to me its necessary, that way as either a top or a bottom, I can play and be played with and feel a much deeper understanding of what the likes and dislikes are of myself and my partners. Now as a top, I still feel that it allows me to explore different avenues of limits, one can say they like ass play, but not for long periods of time, well i also believe in punishment, so if they get out of line i will tie a vibrator to their ass and have them not move for a long period of time.. though it is a limit it can be pushed and used as a pleasureable hard limit. since they already enjoy ass play, to me it is no different. Now, I believe if you are playing with a new partner, then absolutely you need to know what their curiosities are, their limitss and likes and dislikes, for example, if you are a Dom/Master looking for a slave and you are starting to play with a sub, then there could be ocnflict, but if you go through a checklist, you will find the differences between them, their nuances and preferences on how they want to be treated. I have seen many checklists but i find that they all lack one thing, a Top or Dom needs to fill one out aswell, since the bottom needs to know what the top is into aswell, so they can please them as is their duty to do so, as it is for a top for a bottom. See in most checklists they neglect switches, switches work both angles so, they need two checklists… a top and a bottom. so in one checklist it should accomodate that, receiving and giving for any and all things listed with their excitement factor for both as a top or a bottom. As a top, I am not squeemish at all about being specific in my wants and desires, i am pretty open in regards to that, my rule of thumb, “Do not do anything to anyone else that you would not have done to you” I keep an open mind and express it as often as i can. (hence why i can be a brat) So just remember to be very specific to both sides of the scale, to me that would make the better checklist if not the best checklist that would be made ready and available for anyone to fill out and read.
thank you for the questions!
take care
NebetAset (LadyIsis)
Posted by: NebetAset | August 11, 2009 9:19 AM