BDSM and Romantic Love
» Relationships
BDSM is love.
No, of course it isn’t.
Perhaps it is a fluke but most of us who blog about D/s and S&M are, have been or want to be in romantic relationships that include our sadomasochism.
It is easy to forget that people engage in BDSM as one night stands. That they scene with people they don’t know intimately. Many people enjoy their fetishes without worrying about affection.
Imagine developing a view of heterosexuality solely on the basis of romantic comedies. The sex lives of millions of people would vanish from view.
What level of emotional involvement do you require for BDSM?
- Deep romantic passion where marriage or lifetime partnership is at least a considered contingency?
- Friendship with strong erotic affection.
- Liking the person outside of BDSM sessions? What the present age vulgarly calls ‘friends with benefits?’
- Scratch my kind and I have all I need.
- I’d rather pay than get mushy.
Would you rather go kinkless and celibate than play without what you feel is the minimum level of tenderness you want?
Fetish Meme.
Comments
What level of emotional involvement I prefer and what level I require are two different things. I don’t require much; I play with friends purely for the pure sexitude of it. I do need to feel a certain sense of attraction to whoever I play with though, even for casual play. But I strongly prefer bdsm within the context of a monogamous romantic relationship. It’s so much tastier that way.
Posted by: roo-roo | May 5, 2008 6:54 PM
Finding a dominant to play casually is hard enough. Finding one for something more than casual? Sounds like an alternate reality. While I’m dreaming can we have beer instead of tap-water coming out of the pipes? Oh and world peace too!
Posted by: axe | May 5, 2008 11:58 PM
Ahh you’ve touched a nerve. hmm how to say this but I married my husband, him knowing full well that I was a switch but mostly a dominant switch and what I needed. This year has been really hard for us and now he doesn’t want to top me because of the reasons.
I am really stuck in a rock and a hard space, while I am a switch and I can be Ms. Top deluxe I need my balance in order to feel good about it.
This weekend we are doing the whole getting away, romantic taking baby rope steps in order to get back into our relationship.
Does it exists.. yes but like any other relationship it requires a hell of a lot of work.
Posted by: Mz Carmen | May 14, 2008 8:20 PM